Coming home

I am enjoying my first Ramadan so far. There is a rhythm that develops in the day around prayer and food – and sleep. I am not sure why I don’t feel this all the time. But I guess that is the point of Ramadan – to slow down and notice.

I must admit though that a friend had to talk me off the ledge on day two. While making food for Iftar, I popped a green bean in my mouth without thinking to see if it was cooked. Then nearly choked on it when I realized what I had done and promptly spit it out. (I was assured that small tastes in the cooking of food was okay. :-))

Anyway, I am feeling less uptight now. And am in Dubai!

The Food here is amazing and the shopping is great. But I am trying to stay focused on Ramadan.

And yes, I am wearing hijab! I have to admit that I have a mini-crisis each time I put it on – most definitely feeling like Olga. But I am fine once I am out the door.

I have read many stories of the experience of women when they first put on — or take off — their hijab. The words that are often used are ‘liberating’, ‘respected’, ‘noticed’, ‘un-noticed’, ‘special’, ‘hidden’, ‘loss of individuality’, ’empowered’ and many more.

For me, I simply feel…like me. Normal.

And that is sort of how this whole Ramadan feels for me so far.

One the one hand, there is still so much I don’t know and haven’t figured out. At the same time, it all feels perfectly normal. Like I was always meant to be doing this. Like I have come home.

How is your Ramadan so far?

2 responses

  1. Yes! Absolutely. I feel the same way re: hijab and Ramadan. Like I’m just still regular ol’ me, doing these things. Other people seem to be seeing changes (which is not all bad) but I just feel like it’s the natural course of things.

    I hope that your fast continues to go well, and enjoy your trip!

  2. Its funny for the years I have been wearing hijab, in my dreams I am still without it. Yes, I fix my hijab before I go out in the mirror and make sure its not all lopsided but I am not a mirror lover. I still have days that I look at myself and say hmmm… that’s what I look like? To be fair, i do the same when I am at home with my hijab too. You are still you, as all of us are.

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